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Our Adoption Story and the Reason for My Blog

I decided to begin writing a blog about being an adoptive mom for a variety of reasons.  The first reason is to remind my readers that if you are truly pro life you must be open to life in all forms.  I believe every family should discern if you are capable of adopting a child in need of a family.  If there are children on this earth who are living without love, it is everyone’s responsibility to find ways to be the change. 

I have found that the biggest pro life advocates are often times the least christian among us.  These people have no problem throwing stones at teenage mothers, unwed mothers, single mothers, mothers addicted to drugs or mothers living in an abusive environment.  But, their judgment creates little change.  These same people will throw the stones but will refuse to offer a helping hand.  If you are truly pro life you need to examine how you are called to help all stages of life.  Perhaps you will find that you are meant to raise a child you haven’t even met yet.  Hopefully this blog will remind you of those pro life issues and how you can be a catalyst for true change… even if it means extending yourself to offer mercy and compassion to ALL walks of life.

The second reason is to encourage everyone to consider adoption.  Not just adoption of those precious, little newborn angels of Jesus but to consider how you may be able to change the life of an older child or a special needs child through adoption.  Currently, there are over 400,000 children in the foster care system.  These children not only need stable and loving homes, they are also craving forever families. 

Once a child becomes the age of 8 the likelihood they will be adopted drops dramatically.  These are the children most in need of “saving”.  45% of children who “age out” of foster care will not complete high school.  If these children do not find forever families they are 66% more likely to end up homeless, end up in jail or die one year out of foster care.  Over 80% of our prison population has been in the foster care system.  Much more importantly and transforming is that these children who never find a forever family will likely grow up to never really know love.  They will become parents to children that they will not be capable of showing real love to.  The cycle continues and affects us all.  These staggering statistics demands that each of us sit with the idea of adoption and consider if you are being called to this gift.  And, even though it is daunting and difficult… it is a gift.

The third reason is to tell you how hard it is.  How unbelievably, undeniably hard it is.  It takes true commitment and dedication to stick with the adoption plan.  While you are in the process of adoption, your life will be split open for others to look in, observe and judge.  You will be faced with the past, and most likely trauma, of the child you will be loving as your own.  This past creates a very unknown and scary future.  This future you must embrace and no matter what, never give up. 

This is not an easy calling.  In the beginning, while the idea is just a blip on your radar, you will feel like you have superhero powers.  Maybe a part of you will feel, like we did, that you are “saving” a child. Those fairy tale feelings will quickly fade into the reality of raising an adoptive child or, like in our case, blending a new family. 

Even though it will break your heart, drop you to your knees and make you question “what in the world were we thinking?”, it will also bring you immeasurable joy.  For those adopting due to infertility, it will be a blessing you may never have known.  For those adding to their existing family, you will learn how to love in ways you could never imagine.  And, while you started off thinking you were “saving” your child, you will quickly find that the life you save will be your own.  At the end of the day you will grow your family in love.  And there is no greater reward.

The final reason for writing this blog is to help bring healing, comfort or peace to other families who are walking the path of adoption.  I hope that those who have never adopted may learn a little about this process and will be able to be a better support to people in your lives who have adopted.  I am sure they may not have experienced all of our stories but I can bet we have a lot in common. 

Maybe you have adopted and have found some of the same pitfalls we have found.  Perhaps you also have a child from a traumatic background and like us have never been able to find the right kind of help for the questions you have.  Or maybe you just need an encouraging voice, whispering to you through this blog, that you are making a difference.  You matter and the adoption leap you took will be worth every tear, every worry and every heartbreak.  Whatever you find while you read this blog, I sincerely hope you will see what God is calling you to see.   

I want my readers to know that before I write each blog, I pray to the Holy Spirit to guide my writing to give the glory to God and help show others God’s will in their lives.  I ask the Holy Spirit to give me the gift of humility, compassion and wisdom as I share my stories.  These are not easy fruits for me.  I pray that the telling of our story will never be at the risk of exploiting my child or my family.  This may get tricky as I plan on being very open.  I pray hard for the wisdom to know when my words may negatively affect my son or my family. After that, I end my pep talk with the Holy Spirit with the St. Michael prayer to ensure that my writing comes from a place of light and love. 

If you ever feel I am failing at this, feel free to let me know by commenting or messaging me.  I will promise to hear you out and try to do better.  If you are lifted up by what I share, please share this with me too.  I need that so much.  Consider sharing if you feel I have written something of worth.  The more people I can reach, the more I will feel I am putting good out in the world.

"Be The Change You Wish To See In The World"